A decision to follow my kids’ wish to move countries

Well, I kind of told you. I’ve lived in Merida for five years. And now… Well, actually, I was thinking about moving for like a year. And I’ve lived in a lot of places, and I don’t think about… I don’t need to think for a while. I just see a sign, and then I just go. And I’ve been thinking for a year… So it’s really uncomfortable for me.

Are you waiting for a sign?

Yes, but then it would be a countering sign after that. So I was like, okay, if I’m not sure, I’ll just wait. And then I said, I want to try to like, maybe I need to go with a different reason. Because for me, it’s anywhere. I could… I literally want to go everywhere. So not, I’m not going to use myself. And I’m like, I’m going to go with my children. I have a nine-year-old and a 16-year-old. She’s starting college early. She does a program where she does college classes and high school classes. And she’s just ready to shift over to university classes. And so she’s like, yeah, you know, I want to study fashion. And we were looking at schools in the States. And then I was like, well, we’ve been looking at countries in Eastern Europe, but just because they were safe and cheap. I was like, what if we looked at a fashion school in Europe? She was like, that’s a great idea. And I was like, okay, I feel more confident about that. So, but it’s a week old, the ideas.

Yeah, we looked at Spain because we’re already speaking Spanish. We’ve been here for a while and I would like them to continue learning Spanish. But also, Paris is known for fashion. I was like, that would be fun. And it’s really artsy. And my daughter’s really into art and fashion. She tried her hand at painting. She loves vintage clothing. Hours, hours to get ready. Not me. Ten minutes is all I need to look like this.

But yeah, I think that’s where our biggest decision is. It’s a family decision. Then you have my youngest daughter. And she’s usually kind of hesitant. She’s kind of the opposite of myself with my oldest daughter. She likes being home in the States. But she was like, “Yeah, maybe I can go to Greece. Maybe I can go eat a pizza in Italy.” I was like, “Okay.”

I actually never had the desire to go to Europe. I only considered that first option. Like, we literally have been thinking of, around the world. We were like, Tokyo. Shanghai, we used to live in China. So we were like maybe back in Shanghai and then we were looking at Turkey and then we were looking at Colombia. Literally I was just, like, this is getting out of control. We have no compass.

So I feel like, yeah, we feel happier with France. It’s none of the reasons I would choose. It’s not cheap. I think visa-wise it’s not the easiest thing. We’re looking at countries like Albania. Like I said, it was super easy. You can plug yourself in there. It’s affordable. So it’s interesting that I’m happy with what I thought I didn’t want. But it’s for my kids’ future. It feels better. It feels like a real investment. And if you travel a lot with kids and they’re not happy, it feels kind of selfish. So…

My youngest was born in China and my oldest was essentially raised there from four months old. So it was all, like I said, it was a suggestion from someone when I was in student teaching. I never planned to go there, ever at all. I was going to back to LA. I was doing university in the Midwest and suddenly I was like, all right, I’m just going to look it up. And I got a job in, I don’t know, a day. And then they offered me all these perks and I was there. And then, it just literally was the domino effect. I met my ex-husband. I had a baby. And then I continued to come back. Even when I would go and come back, I would be like, it’s the last time. And I did that for six years.

So they weren’t doing well when we were in the States. And it was things I didn’t even think about. It was little social cultural things that I thought… I just didn’t even think about it. Like they didn’t get the idioms and they thought people were teasing them and they weren’t. And so they were like, our oldest was like, I really want to go to another country. But, you know, the pandemic was still kind of weighing on us. And I was like, I’m not sure. And I was like, well, what about Mexico? It’s close. We live in Texas.

It seems like they’re pretty good with health standards and keeping people safe and wearing masks. We were in Texas, so it was not like that. And then my daughter said yes, and she just got on YouTube and just started taking notes. And I said, “Okay, well, I’m a teacher. We can go visit in the summer.” And she said, “No, I’m not fulfilled here, we’re moving in the summer.” And I said, “Okay.” And honestly, she was right, because I was teaching in a school, they were going to school. And suddenly I decided to homeschool and I never, I love school, I’ve been teaching for 15 years. I loved school as a kid. It was just a random decision and it’s really changed the course of our lives since we homeschooled. She does so many social things with her friends. She ended up starting university early and doing things that align with her interests. And maybe not just with the school kind of diggitykes, because their schedules weren’t open, so… I was like, maybe I should just listen to her again.

Yeah, I never have thought about a decision this long, so it makes me really uncomfortable, but I’m like, I’m getting older. I was 23, I’m 41 now. So I probably, I’m just not accepting, like, I live abroad. That was 20 years, almost 20 years ago, right? So now I’m accepting I live abroad and I feel like I’m overthinking it. At first it was just like, no, I’m just doing it for, you know, to go back and spend time with my daughters’ dad. He was studying medicine there. Oh, I’m just going back. I’m going to do a master’s in international studies. And it was like, you live there. So yeah, that was not, when I look back, I was kind of in denial, I guess.

I don’t know, do people plan? That makes me nervous now, because now I’m planning. But I do feel like, you know, now I’m older, also I have kids, and before I really didn’t care. Like, all my family would be like, “What are you doing?” And I’m just like, “I’m a grown-up, I can do whatever I want.” But then when you have someone’s grandkids, it’s like you have to show them the list of things. It’s like I’m selling them the country. And I’m surprised that they were okay with Mexico. And then I told them Albania, and they’re like, “We don’t know anything about that.” I’m like, “Did you know anything about China?”

My mother came to visit when I gave birth to my second daughter. And she stayed for three months and she loved it. She was just so surprised. She was like, it’s a whole new world. And I was like, yeah, that’s what I like. I’m extremely bored in my own culture. So, yeah, I’m like excited. You know, I got my books on France.

I do not want to learn French. I’m not gonna lie. I’m doing a little, like, ten minutes a day until it doesn’t… You know when you first hear such a foreign language it’s like what is this? And as it gets more and more common to your ears it feels better so I’m just trying to get comfortable with hearing it.

I was thinking I’ve done a lot of things and that I’m satisfied with so maybe it’s time to let my offspring, you know, have their life and they love to travel, so. I think I feel happy about that part. That’s my legacy. Making these global kids. They’re super excited. So, she did do an interview for a school in Paris. No, in Spain, in Barcelona. And then she did a workshop for a school online in France. So, I feel like we’re planting the seeds, and waiting for the next wind to blow us in the right direction, like Mary Poppins or something. And I feel excited about it. And it’s weird for me because I want to save money, I want to have an easy visa process and I’m not finding that information. But it’s the idea of planting a seed for her career, her future feels really good to me. So hopefully that keeps making me feel happy when I’m paying $2,000 for rent in Paris, but I hope this is a good omen that you asked me about decisions and now it’s gonna be true.

That’s it. It’s on tape. Oh my gosh, that won’t age well if I don’t go to France.